my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
