ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
