Me too!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
