i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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