McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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