is your mom at the bar?
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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