he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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