I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
