i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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