he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
