I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
