Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Its about making memories worth repressing
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
