There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
