she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
