how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
