Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
