she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
