Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You're like the curious george of whores
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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