you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
