i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
