And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
