Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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