He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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