She announced her abortion via fbk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
