Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
