I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
