nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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