is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
