Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
