My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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