Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
