This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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