I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
