Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
