Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
