I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
