Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
