i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
