Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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