i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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