I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
