I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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