Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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