Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
