mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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