so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
