Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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