I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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