porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
