Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
