At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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