It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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