just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
how does that bad decision feel?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
