I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
