Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
